Why I couldn’t look like Will-Smith :(
I’ve had my fill with these online vendors; I’ve been most unfortunate when it comes to getting stuff online or ordering anything generally but mostly clothing items.
If you know me well, you know I have a knack for the finer things of life, although my bank account is not flamboyantly swollen yet, regardless I like to look good because it’s like steroids to my confidence level.
Two weeks ago, I had an event to attend. I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw this fit. I immediately imagined myself in it, thought to myself why not look like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air once in your life, you are a tech bro ofc you can afford this. After a series of unending mathematical calculations in my head like I was Einstein, I finally made up my mind to get this fit and got a budget I swore I was never going to exceed even if Doja cat said she needed to get her nails done.
The fit in question is a white body-fitting Philip Plein Sweat Shirt, Palm Angels sky blue Jeans, Brown Chelsea Boots, and FTG sunglasses. You probably have some imagination, yeah trust me, I was going to look Superfly in that.
I wanted to step out and go shopping, but I’m such an introvert, no, no, not because of my introverted nature, I was just too lazy that day to even get my clothes on. Why stress myself under this scorchy sun when I could just order this online?
I remembered this WhatsApp vendor that frequently updates his status with very colorful, impeccably attractive jeans. Asked him if he had what I needed, and he said yes! But I had this doubtful feeling about the way he quickly concurred to the availability of this item, it somewhat sounded dubious but I ignored the red flag because of my youthful exuberance of what I could look like wearing the jean. Immediately I made payment to the account provided, he said it would arrive at my location in about 4hrs, yeah 4hrs because his store was in proximity to my location.
I made this order around 1:24 pm, it was roughly 6 pm and I’ve not been contacted by any dispatch. I got worried, and reached out to this vendor he said, “Calm down, don’t be in rush good things take time”. Wait, what? Good things, hey hello sir? This is not my destiny I’m waiting on, it’s just a piece of clothing? So that quote doesn’t fit into the context of the situation.
Of course, I didn’t say those to him, I just ignorantly said, Okay and hung up. 8:45 pm, he calls and goes, “Sorry bro, my dispatch guy had an emergency. But first thing in the morning you’d have your order”. I just didn’t know what to say or do, because the situation was totally out of my control. I’ve already lost all my excitement., started having penny regrets. At 9 am the next day, I get a call from an unusual number saying he is looking for my house, he can’t particularly seem to locate my apartment. Quickly I directed him, if someone saw me on the phone it’d sound like I’m directing a bolt guy dropping off a lady at my place.
The order finally arrived; I got a bit excited again. Opened the package, and I saw an Ash thing inside I thought it was probably another nylon used to wrap my jeans. Until I felt it, it was actually a Jean but that’s definitely not the Jean I ordered nor was it the size of the Jean I ordered. Urgh! called this vendor to lay the complaint this guy has already blocked my contact. I couldn’t even shout, started soliloquizing, “Well this could still work, I mean it’s just Ash and undersized, I could still look fly”.
Day 2: Time to order the sweatshirt. I feel like my WhatsApp is a marketplace, I could literally find whatever I’m looking for. Although I’m feeling a bit sad about how my last order turned out, still I wasn’t motivated enough to leave my comfort zone.
As much as I’m very attracted to waist beads, this girl’s status didn’t change my testosterone level. It was awfully stressful going through her status, I had to anyway because I knew she had what I wanted.
Found what I needed to cop, swiped up, and asked for the availability, price, and size. Before she could reply I decided to finish up her status, tapped a bit more, guess what? luckily, she sells Chelsea boots! Who knew something good could come out of stress? Also, I swiped and enquired for the necessary details.
This time I was a bit clever, told the vendor I’d like to pay on delivery. Since she didn’t reside in my state, paying on delivery wasn’t an option but she offered an alternative, that I pay 60% of the amount due, well it’s better than paying the total sum, right? I agreed and made payment; the delivery estimate was going to be 24–48hrs max. So, I chilled and continued with my daily routine.
The next day, I got my early bird event ticket, you can tell how excited I am. Super pumped about my delivery arriving the next day being Thursday and the event was on Saturday. Called the vendor to confirm my order is still coming in, and she optimistically said yes! So, I was confident. Had different imaginations of how I was going to steal the event on Saturday with my dashing look, how I was going to break necks.
Thursday is here, called this girl, but for some reason, her contact was busy from 10 am — 3:30 pm. You know me, I’d always find ways not to overthink and get all negative, I assumed she probably had horrible reception. My call finally went through, she picked up and sounded sober, saying she’s so sorry, the person she’s meant to get the Chelsea boot to deliver to me traveled she’d be back on Friday. I was a bit confused, asked her, I thought you sold this, she said no, she has to get it from a store close to her. I’ve never been more disappointed, I was so pissed, she could have told this from the start that she was an affiliate marketer.
I said no problem since she said tomorrow, I still have time to get the fit and wear it to the event on Saturday. Friday is here, I didn’t want to bug her since she promised it’ll arrive today. I had a nice breakfast, did some work, and slept off around 11:22 am. Woke up, it was 5:33 pm I was so scared I must have missed some calls from her or maybe her dispatch. Picked up my device, no missed calls, no text, yeah, I know I’m single but at least her dispatch could have texted or something.
I repeatedly dialed her number, but it didn’t go through, I’ve never been more devastated in a long time. The last time I was that devastated was in my Physics 200L examination, that’s a story for another day. I made up my mind I wasn’t going to look that as fly as I imagined. I can’t also let the ticket waste I had to attend.
That was how I ended up attending with a native, I still looked breathtaking anyway.
Monday morning my order finally arrived; the sweatshirt was exquisitely beautiful but the Chelsea boot was oversized I had to put a piece of paper inside it to test its fitting.
I still had to complete my fit, remaining the sunglasses. I have a plug for that, I reached out to her she said he had the particular shades I needed. I took a note from Jcole’s handbook, you know how it goes, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice can’t put the blame on you, fool me three times fuck the peace signs load the chopper and let it rain on you” well I wasn’t interested in a pyrrhic victory.
I got out of my comfort zone today and went to her store to get this sunglass, reached there we exchanged pleasantries and suddenly got into a deep conversation about how her online business has been a roller coaster of disappointment and failures. Talked about how her Instagram got banned, how she lost most of her audience, how for some reason most of her online customers do not reside in her state, and how she constantly loses customers daily because of the outrageous delivery charges.
I started talking to her about my experience so far with online businesses and told her about a tech start-up that has the objective of solving most of her issues. That I am part of this tech start-up, I and my team are building a platform that specifically focuses on your business model and inclusively drives towards getting you customers, amongst other captivating features.
Copnow Mobile Application
Told her she could look up our website, we just launched our Wait-list page. She should input her email and would be duly notified when we launch. After the conversation, I copped the sunglasses and headed home.
Got home, and quickly got dressed. I didn’t look as fly as I thought I would but it wasn’t totally bad. Just that instead of Fresh Prince of Bel-air, I looked like The Fresh Prince of Lagos. And that’s one of the reasons, I find it hard to make orders online because of the constant disappointments.
This is why I and my team started building this product. Having gone through these issues firsthand, we engineered a solution that solves one of e-commerce's most complex problems;
“What you ordered vs what you got”.
The problem of delayed delivery and outrageous delivery charges and so many more.
We are bringing you a different kind of e-commerce, a world-class shopping experience with AI-powered tools that’d style you and make you look good everywhere.
Of course, make you look like the Princes and Princesses of Bel-air I couldn’t look like 🚀.
